Don’t Give Up, Mom: when mothering makes you weary

 

Don’t Give Up:

when mothering makes you weary

Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we never give up…

2 Corinthians 4:1 ESV, NLT

Mothering can have seasons where weariness and discouragement lie right at the surface. Perhaps it’s a physically exhausting time, maybe spiritually you’re struggling or a child is, maybe it’s just busier than normal and it’s hard to juggle everything without feeling stressed out, or maybe it’s hard to even find a reason why you’re struggling. It can be so many little things, or big things and little things, and you just want to give up, even if only for a little while. You wish you could run away and rest, clear your mind and breathe. How can we faithfully persevere through motherhood, each of its season, and each season’s hardships? 

As I studied 2 Corinthians 4:1-6, I wanted to see how Paul could say, “we never give up.” Studying this book, I have come to appreciate the tenacity of Paul and his steadfastness through so many difficulties (many listed in 2 Cor. 11:23-29). He knew what it meant to suffer, and yet he could still say, “We do not lose heart.” What kept Paul going? Gary Miller in his commentary said that Paul knew “that only the gospel can equip us for and sustain us in a lifetime of ministry.” And in the ministry of motherhood that I have received by the mercy and grace of God, I too want to persevere and never give up, and I want to be sustained by the Lord through the seasons of motherhood that can be more exhausting and more discouraging, those ones that make me feel like I wish I could hit the ‘escape’ button for a time. The following five things have encouraged me, and I hope they give strength to other weak hands and feeble knees (Hebrews 12:12).

Remember that this ministry has been given to us by God in His mercy (2 Cor. 4:1). Just as God had placed a call on Paul’s life to be a minister of the gospel, if He has made us mothers, He has called us to a lifetime of ministering to our children for the sake of the gospel. He gave this ministry of motherhood to us. He will strengthen us and sustain us to continue on. His mercy is present in the ins and outs, the ups and downs. We need to lean into His mercy to help us when we are feeling overwhelmed. When Paul says, “We do not lose heart,” he means they won’t lose their courage or become faint hearted. They won’t wilt under their trial or difficulty. They won’t become remiss in their duties because of setbacks or delays. When we feel the reality of being an “earthen vessel” (2 Cor. 4:7), it is an opportunity to rest in His power alone, the surpassing greatness of His power. Discouragement for moms can come in many forms. When they’re little, it can be the sleepless nights, the crying baby, the strong-willed toddler, an ear infection that just won’t go away. When they’re teens, it can be the attitude, the laziness, the pressure they feel to do it all and do it all well. When they’re adults, it can be the financial pressures they are under in this new phase of “adulting” or broken relationships or addictions. As their mom, we walk through these things with them, and our hearts feel the burden of these things. But Christ’s mercy and power can give backbone to our mothering in all of these times and many more. 

Hold fast to the word of God (2 Cor. 4:2). Paul told the Corinthians that he would never use underhanded ways or tamper with the Word of God, but rather he would tell the truth and live honestly before God and men. He esteemed God’s Word as trustworthy and would proclaim nothing else that would detract from its truth. As mothers, we esteem God’s word as well, and hold fast to it. And why? What do we believe about His Word? 

• It is perfect, restoring the soul.
• It is sure, making wise the simple.
• It is right, rejoicing the heart.
• It is pure, enlightening the eyes.
• It is clean, enduring forever.
• It is true and righteous, more desirable than gold and sweeter than honey on the honeycomb.
• It warns.
• When it is kept, there is great reward (19:7-11).

This list is a just a start. We must hold fast to the words of life, both for ourselves and for our children. We need the life-sustaining, hope-infusing, gospel-wrought encouragement that comes to us through the words of life. Spurgeon said of his mother, “I am sure that in my earthly youth, no teaching ever made such an impression upon my mind as the instruction of my mother, neither can I conceive that, to any child there can be one who will have such influence over the heart as the mother who has so tenderly cared for her offspring.” Hold on tenaciously to the word of God. Let us endeavor to never give up ministering to our children’s hearts the Truth that will not only sustain us in the ministry but will undergird our children’s lives as well if they embrace Christ.

Our motherhood ministry is sovereignly ruled over by Almighty God, we need to trust Him with the deepest desire of our ministry, the hearts of our children (2 Cor. 4:3-4, 6). Paul tells the Corinthians that the gospel is veiled to the perishing, whose eyes have been blinded by Satan in order that they would not see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ. Yet, just as God spoke light into creation in Genesis 1, so God can and does shine in hearts to give them the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. We are in a battle. Satan is blinding and deceiving hearts, but God overcomes hard hearts and blind eyes. And we mothers are soldiers in the battle, and God has given us a specific battlefield on which to fight. In our hard mothering seasons, we must not lay down our weapons in defeat. He has given us divinely powerful weapons including prayer and His Word. He is not asking us to carry out the impossible, but He is asking us to faithfully carry out our mothering ministry relying on Him to do the impossible in us and for us. 

Mothers feel deeply, love deeply, care deeply. When our children suffer, we suffer. We feel intertwined with them and their actions and choices. Many mothers face deep anguish and weariness over the apparent state of the soul of their child(ren). What could be more painful than a child running toward hell or mindlessly walking down the wide road to destruction? But let it be, that all those things we feel on behalf of our children drive us, not to despair, but prayer, trusting God that He is ruling over every aspect of their lives and ours.

Relinquish our ‘rights’ because we are their servants for Jesus’ sake (2 Cor. 4:5). Paul told the Corinthians, “we are your bond servants for Jesus’ sake.” If we are trying to imitate Christ and please Him in one of our primary ministries, this is the attitude we must have. We are our children’s servants for Jesus’ sake. It kind of pains me to write that one, honestly. I’m not saying we should never rest or that we should wait on our children hand and foot. I’m not saying we shouldn’t train them to do things for themselves or that we should cater to every request. But our ministry of motherhood is a call to service, for Jesus’ sake. It’s a call to have the same mind as Christ in that we would lay down our lives and care for these lives entrusted to us. What does this look like as a mother? I could list out ways we lay aside ourselves to care for our children, but it is so broad a list and will look differently for every mother/child relationship. It’s almost inevitable that mothers serve. But perhaps as you think about it, there may be a few scenarios that make you sigh or make you annoyed to have to do. Or maybe there are things that you’re doing begrudgingly and complaining about. And maybe those are the areas that God is calling you to a deeper self-sacrifice, a more genuine love for you children, a larger capacity to serve them for His sake. I know what those are for me. No one sacrificed more in the service of God’s people (other than Christ Himself) than Paul. He gave an example for us to follow in the service of Christ: Be workers with your children for their joy (2 Cor. 1:24). Be poured out on the sacrifice and service of their faith (2 Tim. 4:6). Gladly spend and be spent for their souls (2 Cor. 12:15). Just serving them more and doing more will not in itself be hope for us in our weariness, in fact, it could make us more worn out. But if we can serve with the same attitude of humility as Christ had, then His grace will be sufficient in our weakness and weariness (Phil. 2:5-8; 2 Cor. 12:9). 

Finally, the more entranced we are with Jesus and His glory the less likely we are to lose heart (Gary Miller). Paul explained in 2 Cor. 4:6 that God has “shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.” God has graciously made Himself known to us through His Son, Jesus Christ. Christ is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of His nature (Heb. 1:3). Is He the treasure of our hearts? Is He our closest Friend? Do we long to see Him lifted high in our lives and through the ministry we carry out day after day? To be entranced means to be carried away with delight, wonder, or rapture. Does that describe our longing for Christ and His glory? “The truest, purest joy flows from a discovery of Jesus Christ. He is the hidden treasure that gives such joy to the finder” (Robert Murray M’Cheyne).When we are grappling with weariness, we can cry out and ask the Holy Spirit to show us more of Christ, to cause us to gaze upon His glory, to be enraptured with His flawless beauty. In seeing Him afresh, we will obtain joy that strengthens us for our ministry.

Don’t give up, sister. Next time weariness creeps in, remind yourself of these truths or others. Write them somewhere where you can see them. Ask a friend to remind you. Mothering is lifelong, and “only the gospel can equip us for and sustain us in a lifetime of ministry.” 

Photo credit to: lianamikah