Caring for Our Widows
In the Old Testament, a widow was left in a difficult position with the death of her husband. She could not inherit from him and thus if
she was childless she may have the opportunity to marry her husband’s brother
and stay in the family. If she had
children, her eldest son was to care for her. In the OT, God made provision for
the widows by having them participate in the triennial third tithe, gleaning,
and religious feasts (Deut. 14:29; 24: 19-21; 26:12). There was blessing from
the Lord for those who followed this command to help provide for the widow,
orphan, and alien. God commanded the
people not to pervert justice for the widow (Deut. 27:19), and He Himself would
be her defender and execute justice on her behalf (Ex. 22:22; Deut. 10:18,
24:17,19; Ps. 146:9). In the NT, Paul expected families to care for their
widows (1 Tim. 5:4-8), and the church would care for widows who were widows
indeed (1 Tim. 5:3-16). However, there were stipulations for who the church
would care for. James, in his epistle, told the believers that “pure and
undefiled religion is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress,
and to keep oneself unstained from the world” (James 1:17).
Paul
deals directly with the church’s care for the widow in 1 Tim. 5:3-16. Paul
commands that the real or true widow be esteemed, honored, and reverenced in an
ongoing manner (5:3). It is pleasing and acceptable to God for children to
return to their parents the good they have received from them, and so any widow
who has children or grandchildren ought to be taken care of by them as is right
and good (5:4). Now, the true widow, who has been isolated and left alone,
possibly meaning without any children or grandchildren, does not despair in her
loneliness and difficult circumstance, but rather, she has her hope and trust
on God. And placing her full confidence
in Him, she perseveres constantly, both night and day, to Him in prayer with
her needs and wants and everything (5:5). In contrast to the widow who has a
fixed hope on God, there
is a widow who lives self-indulgently, and that widow, Paul says, is really
dead even though she is alive. So while her body is physically alive, she
demonstrates a spiritual deadness because of her wantonness (5:6). Paul tells
Timothy to charge the believers with this teaching about the widows with the
result that they will have nothing with which the enemy can bring a charge
against them (5:7). In contrast to the one who knows the truth about caring for
widows and follows that command, is the one who does not provide for his own,
those who are in his own household. Paul
says that one has denounced the faith and is in fact even worse than one who
disbelieves the gospel of Christ, an unbeliever. The issue of widows and their care is a very
serious issue (5:8).
Paul then begins the list of
requirements for widows to be put on the list for the church to care for. The first two requirements are that she be at
least 60 years old, and she must have been the wife of one man (5:9). The
requirements for those widows to be put on the list continues. She has a good
reputation. Her good works bear witness
of her good character. She has nurtured and cared for her children. She
practices hospitality, both to strangers and to saints. She comes to the aid of those who are
afflicted and in distress. And finally, she has devoted herself to every good
work, which again bears witness of her good reputation (5:10).
The younger widow, however, is
refused from being placed on the list for widows, because when she has desires
contrary to Christ and furthering His cause, she purposes instead to get
married (5:11). These younger widows are judged because they have cast off
their first love. They have laid aside
their convictions and belief in the Christian faith (5:12). And while they are
distracted by their own desires from their first love, Christ, they learn to be
slothful and idle, not only in regard to their work, but also their
speech. Instead of working as unto the
Lord, these women are “working” or “keeping busy” by going around to houses and
spreading idle and unprofitable speech.
They are overflowing with unnecessary talk and getting into other
peoples’ business (5:13). Because these younger widows are susceptible to
idleness and gossip, Paul directs them to certain things. They ought to get
married, have children, be the manager of their own household affairs, and be
careful to not give Satan any opportunity to bring reproach (5:14). Paul gives
proof here. He is giving the younger
widows great caution because some have already turned away from the Lord and
are following Satan. Verses 11-14 are Paul’s warning and instruction because he
has already seen the result of younger widows and their susceptibility to being
drawn away from the Lord (5:15). Finally Paul says that if there are believing
women who have widows that rely on them for care, these women are to continue
to help these widows so that the church is not burdened and charged with their
care, but then can care for those widows who are in need of the church’s help
(5:16).
Caring
for Our Widows
From
the Scriptures throughout the Old and New Testament, it is apparent that the
care of widows is important to the heart of God. God Himself is the defender of
widows and shows compassion toward them. He does not turn a deaf ear or a blind
eye to their troubles. A way that we as
a church can demonstrate our love for God and our widows is to be diligent in
our care of them spiritually, emotionally, and physically. There are widows in
our church that may have others to help with their care, but there are also
widows who may not have believing children or other family that assist in their
care in a loving and caring way. The church must be prepared to help identify
these women and fulfill God’s call through Paul to honor these women and bring
them aid in their times of distress. Not every widow requires financial
support, however some may require the church to help with their financial needs
when they arise. But even if a widow does not need the church’s help
financially, every widow needs the spiritual comfort of the church as well as
friendship and fellowship.
When
the early church had a need for someone to help care for their widows, they
called men to function in the role of deacon to help in the distribution to the
widows (Acts 6:1-7). The deacon has a special responsibility to help find and
carry out the meeting of the needs of the widows in the church. He can lead by example and should not do so
under obligation but out of love and care for the widows. However, deacons are
not the only ones who can carry out this important ministry. Young moms or women who stay in the home can
have a unique opportunity to visit and build meaningful relationships with the
widows. But, in truth, there is a call to the whole church to show care and
concern for the widows within its fellowship. May the church and its members be diligent in the care of their widows.
Here
are some ideas of practical ways the church can carry out meaningful ministry
to its widows:
1. Have
a deacon assigned to each widow who can:
a. Check
with the widows a couple of times a month outside of church
b. Invite
to their house for dinner
c. For
any widows that don’t drive, have someone take them to their appointments
2. Organize
work days at the widows’ houses
3. Once
a year have a special dinner for the widows with the deacons and their wives
4. Write
notes
5. Send
groceries
6. Call
regularly
7. Send
flowers for their birthday
8. Valentine’s
day cookie and craft prepared by the children of the church
9. Cards
for birthday, and anniversary (wedding anniversary and anniversary of their
spouse’s death)
10. Widows’
luncheon once a month
11. Visit
shut-ins
12. Lawn
care
13. Invite
over for lunch after church on Sunday
14. Create
a database of widows and their specific needs and create a system within your
local church so that members can be informed and updated regularly as
circumstances develop and change (p94 Caring for Widows)
15. When
visiting the home of a widow: a. prepare our hearts because the widow may be
experiencing loneliness and sorrow; b. be prepared to discern physical needs
that may need to be met (what can she not do on her own? Or what would her
husband have done for her if he were still living?) c. be ready to encourage
with the Word and prayer (86-87 Caring for Widows) d. plan to stay for a while
when visiting a widow, especially in her home, about 45-50 minutes. The widow
may live in silence and loneliness on a daily basis so when visiting be ready
to stay for a little while to have quality time with her (p97 Caring for Widows)
e. be a good listener
16. Pick
certain widows to highlight during public prayer for the purpose of informing
the church of their circumstance and how best to care for them (p93 Caring for
Widows)
17. Take
the opportunity during a members’ meeting to highlight a faithful deacon or
young mother who has cared for a widow in the church, which God may use to
inspire others and bring notice to others to do likewise
18. Give
a small gift. This can be a practical gift (like some of the things mentioned
above), or an edible gift, or a sentimental gift (p113-116 Caring for Widows)
19. Do
Christmas caroling to their homes during the Christmas season
20. Adopt
a widow during the holidays
Helpful Resource: Caring For Widows written by Brian Croft and Austin Walker.
Helpful Resource: Caring For Widows written by Brian Croft and Austin Walker.
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