A Prayer for the Abused

Psalm 109

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

Abuse is defined “as any action that intentionally harms or injures another person” (healthyplace.com). Abuse can take many forms: physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, and other forms. One of the reasons abuse continues is because it is often cloaked in secrecy, deception, and manipulation. Victims feel powerless and at times even feel they are somehow responsible for the abuse they have suffered. The effects of abuse are long term. If you or a loved one have suffered abuse, you know personally the suffering and sorrow that accompany abuse, where a person of power, in position, influence, or physicality, preys on another in order to take advantage.

In Psalm 109, the psalmist is crying out to the Lord for justice. It is a very strong imprecatory psalm. The imprecatory psalms are ones in which the author “calls down calamity, destruction, and God’s anger and judgment on his enemies” (gotquestions.org). Especially in Psalm 109, the language is intense, and for believers we must grapple with this prayer. “Truly this is one of the hard places of Scripture, a passage which the soul trembles to read; yet as it is a Psalm unto God, and given by inspiration, it is not ours to sit in judgment upon it, but to bow our ear to what God the Lord would speak to us therein” (Spurgeon). This prayer, as harsh as it sounds, is included in the Scriptures for us. “The psalm can provide a model prayer for those being attacked by those close to them” (Longman). What should be noted is that the psalmist is directing these words in prayer to God. He is not seeking vengeance or exacting his own revenge on the one who has deeply wronged him. Rather, he is entrusting himself, his situation, and his perpetrator to the Judge of all the earth who must do right. The psalmist himself is not acting as judge, jury, and executioner. He is laying his case before the Lord and submitting himself to the Lord’s sovereign hand. “In the act of protesting vehemently to God, the psalmist points out the acts of violence that so often accompany injustice and unexplainable suffering. The psalmist calls out to God to prosecute and condemn the adversary, thereby obviating the need of the psalmist to take matters in his own hands” (deClaissé-Walford). For those abused, Psalm 109 can be the words they speak to God in the midst of their suffering. While action should be taken to uphold justice for the abused, the abused will need ways to counsel their own souls and words that will help them lean into the Lord while they await justice.

As believers, we have commands from the Scripture and the example of Jesus Himself when facing those who have wronged us, even deeply. Romans 12:14-21 tells us to overcome evil with good, bless and do not curse, never return evil for evil, never seek revenge, but rather leave room for the wrath of God. Jesus leaves us an example. When He was reviled, He did not revile in return. When He suffered, He did not threaten, but He entrusted Himself to the One who judges righteously (1 Peter 2:23). While we do not seek vengeance, it may be appropriate to seek justice. God has established authorities in order that they would be His ministers, avengers who bring wrath on those who practice evil (Romans 13:4). “We must speak out against injustice, inequality, and acts of violence. But the words of Psalm 109 teach us that anger and action exist in a delicate dance. When and to what extent do we act ourselves, and what do we commit to the safekeeping of the God of all creation?” (deClaissé-Walford) It takes wisdom, guidance, and patience to navigate the hard circumstances of injustice and abuse.

Let’s pray through Psalm 109 for the abused and be willing to weep with those who weep and speak for those who have been silenced as they navigate a hard road.

Be not silent, O God

109:1-5 Be not silent, O God of my praise! For wicked and deceitful mouths are opened against me, speaking against me with lying tongues. They encircle me with words of hate, and attack me without cause. In return for my love they accuse me, but I give myself to prayer. So they reward me evil for good, and hatred for my love.

Let’s pray:

▫️O God, do not be silent. Abuse thrives in silence. Silence about the abuse. The silencing of the abused. The silence of those who could come to their aid. Give the abused the courage and the opportunity to no longer be silent but to speak! O Lord, do not be silent. Rise up for their help, their hope, and their healing. A word from You is all that is needed to turn around the situation.

▫️The hateful words that have been spoken to and about the abused would fall on deaf ears. The envious, malicious, belittling, and degrading words that have been or are being spoken to the abused would not be believed and internalized. They would be able to counter the lying and deceitful words with the truth. The abused would not believe the hateful words spoken to them or begin to think and speak those words to themselves or others.

▫️You know, Lord, that much of the abuse happens within families: marriages, parents to children, a trusted family member against a vulnerable one. In return for love, the abused receive hate. I pray those who are suffering would give themselves to prayer. Your ear would be open to their cries for help. You would answer them speedily. Help them to know that You are the God who sees (Genesis 16:13). You see their situation. You see the wrongs done to them.

▫️The abused would not be fearful to love and trust again. They would be wise in their relationships but not shut off from intimate relationships with others who would love and encourage them. Surround them with others who would support them in escaping from abuse, walking through the necessary steps for justice, and gaining hope and healing.

Oh, Lord, remember

109:6-15 Appoint a wicked man against him; let an accuser stand at his right hand. When he is tried, let him come forth guilty; let his prayer be counted as sin! May his days be few; may another take his office! May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow! May his children wander about and beg, seeking food far from the ruins they inhabit! May the creditor seize all that he has; may strangers plunder the fruits of his toil! Let there be none to extend kindness to him, nor any to pity his fatherless children! May his posterity be cut off; may his name be blotted out in the second generation! May the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the Lord, and let not the sin of his mother be blotted out! Let them be before the Lord continually, that he may cut off the memory of them from the earth!

Let’s pray:

▫️The abuser would be found guilty. His way would not be hidden and concealed, but the truth of his actions, words, and ways would be revealed. When he is tried, let him come forth as guilty. Lord, You cannot look on wickedness with favor (Habakkuk 1:13). Do not let this wickedness prosper.

▫️There would be others who would rise up against the perpetrator. Those who abuse live lives of deceit, and their wrongdoing must spill into other areas of their lives. May others call them to account for their deceit, lies, and manipulation not only against the abused but in the other areas of their lives where they have dealt treacherously.

▫️The iniquity of the abuser is always before You, Lord. We know You are a God merciful and gracious, full of compassion and lovingkindness. We know mercy and forgiveness are available for the repentant sinner. We pray You would work in the offender’s heart repentance, humility, and a radical change. We know You will execute judgment, either at the cross on Christ if the abuser repents and believes, or in eternal judgment. We look to You for Your righteous judgment.

▫️Remember the abused, O Gentle Shepherd. Remember Your lovingkindness. Give ear to their words and their groaning. You do not delight in wickedness and You abhor the deceitful man (Psalm 5:4,6). Come to the aid of those who have suffered because of the wicked man’s deception.

The poor and needy and the brokenhearted

109:16-20 For he did not remember to show kindness, but pursued the poor and needy and the brokenhearted, to put them to death. He loved to curse; let curses come upon him! He did not delight in blessing; may it be far from him! He clothed himself with cursing as his coat; may it soak into his body like water, like oil into his bones! May it be like a garment that he wraps around him, like a belt that he puts on every day! May this be the reward of my accusers from the Lord, of those who speak evil against my life!

Let’s pray:

▫️Mighty God, instead of kindness, the offender has pursued the poor and needy and the brokenhearted, to put them to death. There are various ways to experience death: death of security, love, comfort, respect, peace of mind, confidence, closeness and intimacy. There can be death or deadening of joy, peace, comfort, happiness, purpose, vision, and trust. Perhaps even physical death. Oh, Lord, rise up for the defense of the defenseless. Be a shield about them from the harm of the evildoer. Give Your angels charge concerning them to guard them in all their ways (Psalm 91:11). Rekindle what has been snuffed out. Strengthen what has been weakened because of abuse.

▫️“As he delighted not in blessing, so let it be far from him. He felt no joy in any man's good, nor would he lift a hand to do another a service, rather did he frown and fret when another prospered or mirth was heard under his window; what, then, can we wish him? Blessing was wasted on him, he hated those who gently sought to lead him to a better mind” (Spurgeon). Lord, if these are true of the offender, and he loves only to curse others and hates the blessing of others, and will not humble himself but continues in hatred, let curses come upon him. He did not delight in blessing; may it be far from him! (109:17-18)

▫️May this be the reward of the abuser, of those who speak evil against the vulnerable, the needy, the oppressed (109:20).

Deal on my behalf

109:21-25 But you, O God my Lord, deal on my behalf for your name’s sake; because your steadfast love is good, deliver me! For I am poor and needy, and my heart is stricken within me. I am gone like a shadow at evening; I am shaken off like a locust. My knees are weak through fasting; my body has become gaunt, with no fat. I am an object of scorn to my accusers; when they see me, they wag their heads.

Let’s pray:

▫️O God my Lord, deal kindly on behalf of the sufferers. Because Your steadfast love is good, deliver them! Their hearts are stricken within them. Some have been wounded and pierced in their hearts to the point of despair. Their souls are disturbed within them because of the hurt, the helplessness, the frustration, the anger, the wrongs committed against them. Give them new hope, a hope set on You. Vindicate them, O God. Plead their case and deliver them from the deceitful and unjust man (Psalm 43:1).

▫️The victims may feel like a shadow. They may feel like they are just existing. Lord, strengthen them in their weakness and weariness. Bring blessings upon them that no one can thwart. Send them aid, comfort, and support to get to a place of safety and healing. You know their needs. You know their fears. You know the despair. Turn those things around.

Help me, O Lord my God!

109:26-31 Help me, O Lord my God! Save me according to your steadfast love! Let them know that this is your hand; you, O Lord, have done it! Let them curse, but you will bless! They arise and are put to shame, but your servant will be glad! May my accusers be clothed with dishonor; may they be wrapped in their own shame as in a cloak! With my mouth I will give great thanks to the Lord; I will praise him in the midst of the throng. For he stands at the right hand of the needy one, to save him from those who condemn his soul to death.

Let’s pray:

▫️Send help to the hurting, O Lord my God! Save them according to Your steadfast love! Let them know, both the perpetrator and the victim, that this is Your hand; You, O Lord, have done it! Bring them out with a mighty hand and outstretched arm. Provide all they need to move forward: counseling, a safe place, people who believe them, justice, provision, hope, healing, strength of character, perseverance while they wait, and _______.

▫️Though the abuser has sought to curse them, You, O Lord, bless them. Do not let their enemies triumph over them. Where the evildoer has sought to do harm, orchestrate it for good. May the wicked man be put to shame and clothed with dishonor. May his deeds done in darkness be revealed.

▫️Through their heartache and Your upholding and deliverance, may thanks and praise be directed to You. For You stand at the right hand of the needy one, to save him from those who condemn his soul to death (Psalm 109:31). Be near the needy ones now, Lord. Be their help and deliverer; do not delay, O my God (Psalm 40:17).

May the Lord do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, for His glory and our good. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

The Lord has always a tender regard to broken hearted ones, and such the psalmist had become: the undeserved cruelty, the baseness, the slander of his remorseless enemies had pierced him to the soul, and this sad condition he pleads as a reason for speedy help.

Charles Spurgeon

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Photo credit to mlnrbalint.

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